Ode to the fly

When you visit Australia you can expect many interesting things, surprisingly gorgeous nature and animals of all sorts. Unfortunately amongst these animals bugs are inevitable, flies to be specific. In fact, there are over 30,000 different kinds of flies in Australia, all of them equally annoying. They are everywhere and come with their whole family. These uninvited buzzers can really ruin your nice camping trip or social picnic. They absolutely love the face, looking deep into your eyes, romantically blow your ear and lick your lips like a lollipop. The one arm salute is a well known fly repellent, but only helps for a second.

Supermarkets offer a wide range of fly sprays, sticky traps and charming headnets. The last one might be the only thing that actually works, but of course nobody wears them for the obvious reasons.

These small buzzers nearly drove me insane during our roadtrip. Trying to get attention by circling around before my eyes just when I’m cutting veggies with a sharp knife. AAAAARRRGGHHHH!!! Luckily I still have all of my fingers. Tip: don’t try the one arm salute with that knife still in your hand… that almost ended in a massacre. Phew.

My last resort was trying to befriend them. Make some deals. Talking nicely…

* You can sit on my legs but not on my face

* Look I’ve got some nice rotting meat for you, just don’t sit on my face

* Don’t bother me while I’m cooking, instead I’ll save you some juicy leftovers

* The enormous outside is for you guys, inside is for mama

It was worth a try. Some actually seemed to respect my request and others probably flew in from Samoa… ignoring my attempt to compromise. Bugger…

You might ask yourself, why are they here, them good for nothing scoundrels! Well, flies reproduce really fast, some hugging, some kissing, and then… a lot of laying eggs in smelly gunk. Some mellow poo, rotting roadkill or our yummy composting leftovers from last weeks meals, all incredibly delicious and makes them procreate even faster. Up to 15 generations per year of buzzing idiots. Their function in life? Cleaning. If it wouldn’t be for these singing bastards we’d be zigzagging through smelly shambles everywhere. They clean up the mess we make and thank us for it by flying a melody and kissing our face. Yep, we should actually be grateful for their existence.